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If Instagram is to be believed, then self care for women basically amounts to face masks and daily affirmation apps. Orgasms release oxytocin, the anti-stress hormone that gets you warm and fuzzy when cuddling, while dopamine, a neurotransmitter that regulates sleep, also makes an appearance. It stands to reason, then, that "I need to get laid" is a thing that actually makes sense to say when you're having a rough week. Sex toys allow you to give yourself that needed boost whenever you damn well please, and it's empowering to not have to rely on someone else though toys are great for spicing things up with a partner, too. Getting to know your body is also key in developing a positive relationship with yourself — the most important relationship you'll ever have.

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But how often do we actually hear the nitty-gritty details of how we might actually achieve those things? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a licensed sex psychotherapist based in San Francisco, to help us out with the specifics. Q: I bought my first vibrator about a year ago and I love it!